Saturday, December 27, 2008

Break ~ Fake

Ok, so I have been on break for.... 16 days. You'd think I would FEEL like I've had a break? Yeah, like a break in my back! haha!

My finals were on December 8th & 9th. My FIL went into the hospital on the... 4th. That, together with the fact that I've usually fizzled out about 2 weeks before finals, meant that I studied for about 1.5 days before the first final, which was "the hard one." YIKES - I sure sucked on that one! However, I kept my grade above 80%, which is always my main goal (aside from PASSING the class & quarter). However, I brought my grade down by about 7% with that final, which is disappointing.

Last quarter was by far my worst in nursing school. Not "grades wise," but overall enjoyment of the quarter, clinical experience, instructors, etc... I scored fairly well on tests and all paperwork, which saved my A**.

My first clinical rotation of the quarter was what ruined the whole quarter for me. I'd like to say that I "just reacted badly," but that rotation just freaking SUCKED. This is the first quarter that they really stress time management and organization. WHY would they wait until 5th quarter (out of 6 quarters) to stress this OH-SO-IMPORTANT part of being a nurse? Well... for whatever reason, I need more work in this area! However, I did well enough to pass the section. Thankfully! You know, I can handle needing more work, more practice. I can handle not "being perfect." I can handle many/most things ~ however, it would have been very difficult to not graduate nursing school with my class.

At the end of this particular clinical section, I made an agreement with my instructor that I now somewhat-deeply regret. However, would I have passed if I hadn't have made the agreement? I'm not sure. I know that the RN's that I worked with told ME that I was doing well, for the most part. There were a few recommendations, but nothing major. And the nurse that I worked with the most said that, "Yes, I do need more practice - but so does every new grad!"

So yeah - the first half of the quarter left me with a very bitter taste in my mouth, and left my confidence in a state of... well, it flat out fell apart...

The second half of the quarter was spent doing a rotation in psychiatric mental health nursing. I was placed on a double-lock unit with 2 fellow students, one of which is my best friend. This rotation was an amazing experience! If the RN's in psych nursing got to do more "skill oriented nursing," I would definitely consider psych nursing one of my favorite areas. However, the RN's aren't really even allowed to start an IV. I feel like they are not given opportunities to keep up their skills - the skills that we've worked so hard on perfecting while in school. There is a LOT of communication expertise required, as well as knowledge of psychiatric medications. The patients and their psych issues were so interesting, and the "I want to help everyone" part of my loved trying to figure it all out. And the nurses.... they we WONDERFUL! I have never worked with nurses who were more supportive, more "teach-ful," and more... yeah, more into teaching about their line of nursing. It was A-MAZING! I don't think it's possible to appreciate the experience any more than I do. Oh, and my instructor... it was his/her first time working for my school, and I must say he/she was GREAT! Again, what passion for psych nursing! My school could not have hired a better candidate!

Ok, switch to "after finals..." I did GREAT on my psych nursing final and got an A in that class. Yayyy!

Now I'm on break. However, too many things have been going on for this to FEEL like a break! Now that things can be somewhat "normalized" again, I am hoping the next week will be more "break-like." Then, come January 5th - it's back to the same ol' grind - but for the last time before I become an RN!! Yeah, baby!!! I'm HAPPY!

(see my "Life" blog, which I'll try to update later today - I need to go to bed!)

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

How Surprisingly Sad!

Last night was the final night of my Psych rotation.
I'm at an in-patient facility working in a double lock-down unit.

I loved it!

I didn't like the fact that we didn't work on "nursey things" like giving shots,
hanging IV bags, wound care, etc... But I really loved everything else about it.
I loved TRYING to communicate with my patients, and even more - I loved the
staff I worked with! They were the MOST amazing and encouraging group of
nurses I've worked with throughout my entire time in nursing school!

So darn. I sooo thought I knew exactly what I wanted to do in my nursing
career, but now I have to wonder if there are other things out there that I would
love just as much as, if not more than, NICU!

Who knows what the world of being an RN will bring. I probably have at least
a couple of years before I can get into NICU anyway. Maybe Med-Surg is for me!
Maybe L&D is for me. Maybe PSYCH is for me....

Who knew?

:-)

Saturday, November 1, 2008

Nothin' Much

I don't really have much to add as nothing terribly exciting has been going on.

Well, I DID ace another exam a couple of weeks ago. THAT was GREAT!

I DID make it through my med-surg rotation this quarter and have moved on to a rotation in mental health... I am working in a double-lock-down acute care facility. I was completely freaked out to start, but my first day wasn't bad at all. It helps when you're working with a FABULOUS preceptor!! This rotation is interesting because it's a 3pm-11pm shift, which is sooo different from working a 6am-3pm shift!!!! Woo-Hoooo!!! I love it! Too bad I don't see any 12-hour shifts that start at 2pm or so because I'd be in pure heaven!

We got our "dream sheets" last Wednesday. These are the sheets where we write out where we'd like to be for next quarter's clinical rotation. However, this time is special because it will be our final rotation and we'll be working strictly with a preceptor (an RN who works on the unit) and we'll work his/her hours until we have worked a specific # of hours (I think it's 140 or 160 hours?). When the Instructor handed out the sheets, he told us about the slots we have available to fill. THREE NICU slots!!! So I'm sure you can guess where I am hopin' to be placed....... My other choices will be L&D, a burn unit, and Oncology. I'll also put "medical unit" on my sheet as I liked working with the non-surgical pt's last Spring. Well, some had had surgery, but some would come in because of fierce liquid diarrhea or cirrhosis, skin ulcers, pancreatitis, fluid/electrolyte imbalances, etc... Interesting stuff....

I guess that's about it. OH - today I'm going to go to an AA meeting and/or an Al-Anon meeting. This is for my mental-health clinical and I have to write a short, 1 page, paper afterwards. Easy-Schmeezy, I hope!

Sunday, October 12, 2008

What a Week!

Well, my week started on the worst note and ended on the best note - that is one thing I know for sure.

This was the week I had planned to move up to caring for 4 patients. I would have 3 on Thursday and
4 on Friday.

I always feel like clinical is going to be "so stressful" - but when I get there, I feel more like "it's just
another day." It is stressful because it's still so "new" and because I don't feel like I can just "zip"
though things yet. But the reality is that I have done a lot of assessments, taken a ton of vitals,
learned how to talk to my patients (unless I'm being watched) in a chatty "I really DO care about you"
kind of way..... However, giving medications is something that I have not let myself get used to - in the
sense that I have not let it become "standard" or whatever. You can't do that. You can't just open a
chart and go to the Pyxis (where all of the medications are stored) and pull things out without really
THINKING about what you're doing. If you DO that, you can kill a patient. BAM! Dead - and it's your
fault!

So anyway, I usually spend the evening before a clinical day kind of going over the next day in my head.
I spend time thinking up the "organizational plan" so that when I go in the next morning after just 3 or 4
hours of sleep, I can just get to work w/out having to remember what I need to do first. My thought
process helps me remember "ok, you have to go in, find out who your patients are, quickly go through the charts
to find out what brought them here, go in and meet them and take vitals, do an assessment, go to next patients
and do all that, no go get meds for priority patient, etc....." And in the meantime, take care of all of the
interruptions that have occured in the first 1.5 hours of the day.....

Well, I had all the right intentions on Thursday. I went in, got my patient assignments, and got to work.
The problem started when it took much longer to go through the charts than I had planned. This means
that it also took longer to get into my first patients room. And when I did get in there, I hadn't planned
for the interruptions. Well, DUH, Brandy! Interruptions happen ALL THE TIME in nursing! You MUST be
ready for them, and be able to come back to what you're doing and still have your head on straight. For
some reason, that didn't occur on Thursday.

And for some reason, I felt like I was the only person who'd ever had this happen before!

Thankfully, my Friday clinical went MUCH better!!!!! I had interruptions, but was able to deal with them just fine.
I think that so much of it is in the "mental preparation!" When thinking about how your day will go, you MUST
think about having interruptions so that when they do occur, and they WILL (!!!), you just sail through the process
and move on.

I also got to perform a bunch of skills on Friday that I hadn't done before. I pulled a JP drain (Jackson-Pratt),
pulled a Foley catheter from a female (I've pulled one from a male, but never a female), completely changed a
colostomy bag, removed a suture, and irrigated a percutaneous drain. fun, fun, FUN!!!
I also did a complex wound dressing change. I had done one on the same wound the previous Friday, but some
of the supplies had changed, and we were out of one product and had to "make due," so that was a good
experience.

I was really thankful to remember that, when one day goes really bad, we always know that a "new day" is just around
the corner!

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Need an A.D.D. Rx

I swear, every time I sit down to read, I all of a sudden have to pee - REAL BAD.
Or I decide that I'm thirsty. Or hungry. Or, the worst of all - TIRED, which usually
resolves by drinking a Red Bull or taking a too-long-nap.

I hate reading. I wish you could learn to be a Nurse solely by on-the-job training. haha!
I sit down and read for 5-10 minutes before I feel like I need a break. I think the reality
of the situation is that I need some meds for A.D.D.. How sad is that?

I'm so confused about all of this, particularly because I LOVE nursing! I am so excited
to actually BE a nurse, I can hardly stand it. So, why can't I get myself to just sit down
and READ for like.... 2 or 3 hours "straight?"

I've told people that I think I might have some A.D.D. issues and I get laughed at. I'm
told things like "if you can sit through a movie, you're NOT A.D.D." But.... but what if I
CAN sit through that movie, but also have to have a magazine or my computer? I MUST
be doing more than 1 thing at a time! Sometimes I'll "watch" a movie really only by listening.
The movie will be on, but I'll be sewing or cleaning or something. Ok, maybe not while
nursing school is in session, but you get the point.

Maybe I should have my husband put me in isolation... You know, empty out a room, put down
some blankets, and just throw me in there with book, pen and highlighter. Maybe then I could
go to town and get 'er done. Well.. Probably not.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Startin' it off Right, Baby!

Well... I took my first "counted" test of the quarter on Monday..... Got 96%.

Yeah, baby!!! That's the way to do it!

(now I won't get cocky, but I AM happy about this!)

:-)

Friday, September 26, 2008

Long Live the Most Embarrassing Moment of Nursing School....

Holy funnyhats!

Ok, so I think I can share this story without violating the HIPPA laws. I'm not sharing any identifying information - no names, date of birth, nothing that would give out knowledge of just who this person is....

So that means that I MUST share.

Well, here is a story I'm sure I will be telling for many years to come...... hahahhhhahahahaha!

Just shoot me! I finally got my "most embarrassing nursing school story" today! LOL.
This guy had a total (radical) open (not laparoscopic, but full on open incision)
prostatectomy (prostate removal)... I thought the incision site was....
ah-hem.... on his perineum (between the testicles and the anus).....
so I told him I needed to assess the incision, and he was fine with that....
after not being able to see it well enough at first, I asked him to spread his legs further because I couldn't get a good look, so he did.
So then I had to..... Umm.... "lift up his business" (for the 2nd time, mind you) and......
After a few amusing seconds, which seemed like forever to me, I was perplexed at why I didn't see the incision site.
Of course I didn't say anything out loud, but was running through the scenario in my humbled brain...
as I realized I needed to "trace" the tubing for the JP (Jackson Pratt) drain in order to figure out what was going on,
the patient gracefully reminded me that his incision site was on his abdomen.
OMG - can you say HUMILIATED?????

Thankfully this was probably the most fun patient I have ever had. He was funny, gracious, appreciative, and
he kept saying how obvious it is that I should be a nurse. He even let me tell the funny story to his wife - who let
it be known that she is SURE that he enjoyed my little embarrassing moment! haha!

I know these things will continue to occur. I hope I am always as able to laugh at myself as I have been today.

:-)

Thursday, September 25, 2008

1st Clinical Day of the Quarter

Well, we are working hard on becoming "real nurses" and it's.... daunting and scary and exciting as heck!

This the the quarter where we're supposed to start acting as "nurse leaders." We are supposed to start practicing delegation and really "managing" our patients.

In that particular task, I felt like a failure today. Thankfully, however, it is easy for me to say "first day of the quarter" and get over it. Phew, thankfully!

I have 2 pretty simple patients this week. They don't need many meds, don't need many special treatments.... So I don't feel like I'm doing anything terribly special for them. Yet, I have one middle-aged man who insists of flirting with me, and another patient who asks me if I'm sure I can't stay till 7:30pm - 'because I seem to be so great at what I'm doing.

This was one of the days that I have been freaking out about - the day we start the quarter in which we'll eventually care for FOUR patients. And one patient told me to my face repeatedly that I was "so great" and I heard the other speaking with a family member (after I had left the room) and the family member said "she's really good" and he agreed. Oh-my-God!!! I was so scared of coming back to clinical after having the summer off, and to get this ON DAY #1!!!!!!!

In post-conference, we will share "wins and challenges" each week. When I shared this "win," I totally started crying. I was so embarrassed, but I realize it is a culmination of many quarters of stress and fear coming to a head in a really great moment of personal accomplishment. My greatest wish is to be a nurse who is efficient yet caring with my patients. To hear them saying such nice things about me when they don't even know I am listening is the icing on the cake of nursing school.

Take a breath. Stop fearing the worst. Work for the best.

Woo-HOO!

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Module Hell

On the first day of school, I set up a Yahoo Group for our class. By 4th quarter, we had all but about 3 people signed up as "members" of the group. Yay! So, via the site, we have this "study group" set up. It's pretty cool.

Each week, and for each class, we have a "module." Actually, sometimes there are more than 1 module, but not this quarter as far as I can tell. So, a student will sign up to complete a single module, which consists of questions that we should be able to answer after we complete the reading for that week. There may be 5 questions, or there may be 15 questions - you just never know. So, the student who signs up for the module completes the questions and posts them to a file on the group site. Then, everyone can print them out and use them for studying. One major rule is that EVERYONE has to do their own reading. Another rule is that if a student doesn't understand the answer to a question, it is up to them to figure it out. The other student has already done the work and can't always make 39 other students happy with his/her answers.

For the most part, the students who sign up are pretty hard workers. We only had 1 person sign up who did not complete their module last quarter, and that was after the person had dropped the program. Slackers pretty much don't even sign onto the group site - I think it works out pretty well.

So anyway, the good news is that I signed up for the 1st module for our main class and got the stuff posted today - I'm DONE with modules for the whole quarter!!!!! Yayyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!
That also means that I have completed all of the reading (for this week) prior to school even starting. I'm pretty proud of that because I haven't really gotten this far before. I've had high hopes but little drive... haha.

Ok, so it really wasn't "hell." It might have been one of the easier modules, but since I haven't looked at all of them, I don't know. But I am so happy that I had nipped it in the bud and did mine early! It's just one stress that I don't have to worry about for the entire quarter.

But I certainly DO have to read and study!! "One module completed" does NOT mean "NO MORE WORK!"

For any of my fellow students who might read this.... thanks for helping with the modules - we ROCK!

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Meet your new RN SCHOOL computer lab assistant

Geesh, they finally called me Thursday morning at about 9:15am and gave me a quickie phone interview. And top that off by hiring me over the phone - and then asking if I can come to the lab ASAP to help clean the computers... OH, that is AFTER I go down to the main campus to fill out some forms, pick up another form to have someone at the lab sign, and then bring it back asap (next Tuesday is the soonest I'm willing to drive down there again).

And they only have Monday morning hours available - the Wednesday afternoons that I wanted are taken. So that works out just fine. I'll work 4 hours on Monday mornings for the first 5 weeks (and I can't even work the 1st week because of an all-day clinical orientation day). I hope to "pick up" some more hours for the 2nd half of the quarter, but we'll see.

I am going to make so little money that I can't even believe I'm doing this. BUT, I will be able to do some printing while I'm there, and if I need to do anything else on school computers, this time will be really good for that.

I guess I figured I needed to add one more thing to my already busy calendar. But I think it will be fun and it will get my butt out of bed!!! (I have to be there at 7:45am)

:-)

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Do I wanna be a computer lab assistant....?

We (all of the nursing students) received an e-mail a couple of weeks ago that they are looking for lab assistants to work in the computer lab at school. The pay sucks, but the hours are flexible and it would keep the student on campus a bit more...

David wasn't keen on me doing it, but... for some reason, I was really wanting to. BUT - I decided NOT to try, so I never went down to fill out the application.

SO, I open up my e-mail this evening and what appears? An e-mail from some lady who wants to interview me for a position! I haven't even filled out an application! She wants to interview me tomorrow sometime between 10am & noon. Hmmm. Crap!
Well, I replied about the application, and told her she could call me in the morning if she wants to.

I totally don't know what to do. I don't know if this would be beneficial to me, or if it would hurt me. I can't say that I normally get much studying done during the day time (I'm an evening-time studier for the most part).

Uggg. Calgon, take me away!!!

(I'm sure it will all be just fine. My glass is definitely half-full!)

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Long time, no write!

Well, it is now September 9th (Happy Birthday, David!!!). I'm starting to gear up for going back to school on the 22nd of this month. Darn, the things I could do if I only had 2 additional weeks.....

The GREAT news is that, as of the beginning of the quarter, I have less than 6 months left until graduation from nursing school! And, only 22 weeks of "actual school" left! I can't believe that this time is already so close. It's like I can taste it, smell it, FEEL it.
With that comes a little bit of fright. "How will I pass the NCLEX," "Will I get a job right away?" "Will I get a job in an area of nursing that is really interesting to me???" THAT is my biggest question.

To prepare me for the nursing board exam, I will be taking a really intense NCLEX review class - TWICE. I'm taking it after this coming quarter, and also right after my last quarter. Hopefully that will help to give me some more confidence. I'm sure it will. I probably don't even need as much confidence as I seem to THINK I need. haha!

David and I have been talking about where we'll go for my "graduation trip." I'm thinking Jamaica, or St. Lucia (or another island in that area). We've also talked about Mexico or Hawaii. It's hard to decide! But I want: tropics, all the fruify drinks I can handle, a swim up bar, snorkeling, and other things having to do with water warm enough I can swim in.

All I know is that I am looking forward to the last 2 quarters of nursing school, and what life post-nursing school will bring my way!

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

I guess I was busy last quarter!

I realized I hadn't posted in awhile, but I didn't realize it had been since the 2nd week of school!

PHEW! Last quarter was a crazy one! I remember thinking how hard it was while it was happening. But once it was over, my thought was "that wasn't so bad." WASN'T SO BAD? Am I A GOON?

I started off the quarter with a GREAT test score in the first week. This was fabulous and encouraging. But then.... 2 "not so great" scores followed, in addition to a score on a paper that wasn't great. I was freaking out! I remember saying to myself "what the hell am I doing here? I obviously can't handle this!" My word - 2 not-so-great test scores and all of a sudden I think I can't manage to get myself through nursing school..... geez! Well, turns out that all other test scores (except 1) were pretty darn great - I had nothing to worry about!

The Wednesday before finals week, I made the mistake of figuring out my grades and what scores I would need on my final exams to pass my classes. BAD MISTAKE!!! The fact that I needed only 40% on one exam and 55% on the other made it VERY hard for me to find reason/desire to study "hard" for finals. (David would change that "hard" to "at all...." haha!). Seriously - I could NOT find it in myself to whip out books/notes/desire for studying. So, I didn't - study "much" that is. Thankfully, I did just fine and passed the quarter with grades within my own range of acceptance.

Speaking of acceptable grades...... in my nursing school, the saying is that "73% = RN"
That's because 73% is passing. You can get (average) 73% and still pass nursing school. This is equal to a "C" grade.
When we get crappy test scores (I consider "crappy" to be less than 80%), everyone says "hey, 73% = RN, so you're doing just fine..." But WHO is happy with JUST PASSING with a "C?" WHO makes it their goal to "just pass?" No way! I tell ya, my overall goal is to get through each quarter, no matter what that means. BUT...... the reality is that I want to maintain my 3.76 GPA..... We'll see if I can do it! :-)