Well, we are working hard on becoming "real nurses" and it's.... daunting and scary and exciting as heck!
This the the quarter where we're supposed to start acting as "nurse leaders." We are supposed to start practicing delegation and really "managing" our patients.
In that particular task, I felt like a failure today. Thankfully, however, it is easy for me to say "first day of the quarter" and get over it. Phew, thankfully!
I have 2 pretty simple patients this week. They don't need many meds, don't need many special treatments.... So I don't feel like I'm doing anything terribly special for them. Yet, I have one middle-aged man who insists of flirting with me, and another patient who asks me if I'm sure I can't stay till 7:30pm - 'because I seem to be so great at what I'm doing.
This was one of the days that I have been freaking out about - the day we start the quarter in which we'll eventually care for FOUR patients. And one patient told me to my face repeatedly that I was "so great" and I heard the other speaking with a family member (after I had left the room) and the family member said "she's really good" and he agreed. Oh-my-God!!! I was so scared of coming back to clinical after having the summer off, and to get this ON DAY #1!!!!!!!
In post-conference, we will share "wins and challenges" each week. When I shared this "win," I totally started crying. I was so embarrassed, but I realize it is a culmination of many quarters of stress and fear coming to a head in a really great moment of personal accomplishment. My greatest wish is to be a nurse who is efficient yet caring with my patients. To hear them saying such nice things about me when they don't even know I am listening is the icing on the cake of nursing school.
Take a breath. Stop fearing the worst. Work for the best.
Woo-HOO!
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